As a result, my life (and my home) have often been populated with youth. For years, they showed up unannounced on my doorstep, cleared the contents of my refrigerator, abused my furniture, slept on my floor--and blessed my heart deeply! Some twenty-plus years after my initial foray into youth ministry, my wife and I have served churches in a variety of capacities, writing and teaching and preaching and leading missions. As time has a way of refining us all, the unexpected late-night knocks on the window and impromptu sleepovers have faded into oblivion, but our lives are no less blessed by those younger than ourselves and, to our joy, their enthusiasm and frankness and energy now have become blended not only into our own lives, but into those of friends our own age and above, those of our parents and my siblings and now, that of our fifteen month-old son, Sawyer.
On any given weekend, you might find a rowdy crowd of laughing, loving but seemingly mismatched loved ones assembled under our meager carport or roaming our yard and home. From my wife Kristi, a career educator who has worked most with mentally and behaviorally-challenged children to myself, with my odd mix of undergraduate and graduate biology studies, seminary training and an assortment of strange avocations ranging from herpetology to cooking to carpentry; from my mother-in-law with her sense of humor and sparkling smile that definitely don't suggest a retiree with a grandchild; to our toddler son who is toying with talking and walking, we are a diverse group, just within our own family.
Those who gather with us, however, represent a motley crew of beloved friends. We have friends ranging in age from around 18 or so to their upper 70's; country folk and city folk; dropouts and the occasional doctor-of-something-or-other; professional and blue-collar, with vocations including (but not limited to): ministry, education, painting, nursing, sales, students, plumbing, banking, medicine, professional mothering, computer technology and retirees!
Among those dear to us are my friend since junior high school, whose passion for education and skills with technology might qualify him for much broader horizons than the small mountain college where he chooses to use them to benefit students so few he is able to know not only his own, but virtually every student in the school by name. Like the proverbial village needed to raise a child, he works in close rapport with a team of others who have brought their skills to bear in a limited focus, in order to better impact individual students' lives. We've traveled the world together for decades now, each of us seeing places we'd never have visited alone perhaps, and my wife, son and mother-in-law, as well as my parents and sisters, adore him. We've never had a seriously cross word between us in millions of miles of travel and untold hours of shared labor, and his family is equally like part of my own.
Another friend is my "prodigal son" of sorts. When he was young, I think more of his waking hours were spent at church or at my house or in my truck than at his parents' house some weeks. Like a majority of youth kids, there were times when college life led him to drift away, the sort of inevitable divide that's a consequence of spreading one's wings and sometimes, of a sense of disillusionment or awkwardness as the struggles of learning to live as an adult and deal with life's challenges and temptations make it tough to face those who have attempted to give form and substance to one's spiritual convictions. We never had a single argument that I can remember, but life made it too easy to drift out of touch for long periods. If anything, I may have failed him by not being more insistent about maintaining contact, or by not being quick enough to speak up when it seemed trouble might be brewing. At any rate, by God's abundant grace our paths crossed again, and each of us experienced deep and lasting growth as God moved in our lives individually about that same time. It doesn't seem like a coincidence to me that when God moves in my life, he often does it through the influence of someone near to me. I appreciate the depth of caring and the abiding sense of love that is shared between us, just hanging out, working together or cooking dinner. Again, travel has been a bond, taking us to several countries together, and through a variety of life's changes and stages of growth. In recent months, I had the privilege of forging the legal and spiritual bond that God's love had already made between my beloved friend and a woman so sweet and gentle that she has brought an even deeper level of closeness to our lives together.
One of my closest friends now lives far away, but somehow our relationship feels as close as it ever did in all the years we've shared. I remember the day when I made an announcement at church about an upcoming event for teens. When the service was over, a boy who looked to be about 11 asked, "Can I come?" I gave him a ride home after church that day, and it was just a matter of a few days until he first told me, "I love you." To be honest, given my experience with teenagers, I was a bit startled. When I seemed surprised, he cheerfully explained, "My dad says you should always tell people you care about, because you never know when you'll get to see them again!" Let me tell you, I say "I love you" to my friends a lot more than I ever used to. I feel the urgency of that mandate, to share love while we can, and I am constantly aware of the blessing of being part of a generation of men who are at peace with expressing their care for each other as friends. Again, travels have bonded us, as have untold hours of shared work and ministry, of prayer on the giant stuffed bass that used to grace my office sofa, of meals taken around his family's table, of movie nights and graduations and another blessed wedding that brought yet another beloved and gracious member into our extended family.
Another dear friend is the son of folks I've counted as dear friends since long before he was ever considered. Over time, God has brought our paths to cross in deeper and deeper ways. Now we share the same church home, lots of laughs and shared meals and of course, the infamous cookouts under our carport. My friend's shear goodness is just overwhelming--he has a way of finding the silver lining in everything; of always showing up or texting or calling at the moment most needed; of never failing to smile in a way that is entirely too infectious to avoid catching, and of a quiet faithfulness that gives me security, knowing there will always be someone who cares and listens and encourages.
...and the list goes on and on. I could talk for days about the fantastic, joyful, honest, real people God has brought into my life and my home. For the sake of this brief essay, I can't take space to relate all of the wonderful experiences I've had, but suffice it to say, I have been blessed very deeply by the breadth and depth and diversity of the friendships God has brought into my life.
Our friends encompass believers and seekers; the conservative and the freewheeling, the tatooed and the pierced and the traditional; couples and singles, young and...."less-young". But it's more than just a conglomeration of souls: this crazy, motley, extended family of ours is the work of God in our lives. I can't believe that such an assortment could have come together by random chance, any more than my scientific training and observation could allow me to believe that life itself is the product of random chance. In fact, the more years that pass, the better I can see God's hand at work, drawing my path to cross that of friends I've yet to meet. Those who once professed to hate me have come to be dear friends. Those who once thought what I preached was law and tradition have come to see God's grace at work in my life and have often opened the door for Him to work in their own.
I don't share any DNA or even particularly look like most of those dearest to me in life. But there is a bond thicker than mere blood that brings not only an assurance of love and mutual caring, but of the very purpose for which we were all made.
In short, these friendships--no, this family--is my vision of what heaven will be like. Maybe yours is different, but allow me to suggest that many will be surprised to find a heaven populated with people of every race, stature, personality, political persuasion and musical preference imaginable. Too often, our temptation is to envision an afterlife populated with those who look like ourselves, but given that much of the joy in my life comes through those who are most different from myself, and given that God made and dearly loves them all, I suspect that the crowd huddled under our carport on any given Saturday in September probably looks a good bit more like heaven than do the paintings of old. What would happen if everyone who claims the name of Christ would catch that vision? If we began to see the people we so easily categorize: "stoner"..."freak"..."geek"..."loner"..."loser"--what if we began to see those folks as our housemates in mansions where we will dwell in the eternal, uninterrupted presence of God? What if, when faced with someone's music that grates on my last nerve, I remembered: "God created that sound for His praise!" What then? What if the very differences that naturally make us shy away from others here on earth became the evidence of God's plan to fill heaven with voices of every timbre, with faces of every color and with the laughter of all those whom the Creator knew before they were ever born and destined to bring Him praise?
I pray God would grant you the kind of love and joy we find in our beloved friends; that you would catch a glimpse of heaven's glory in the faces of those you pass on the street each day; and that you would say "I love you" as often and as passionately and as freely as God Himself loves you!
Those who gather with us, however, represent a motley crew of beloved friends. We have friends ranging in age from around 18 or so to their upper 70's; country folk and city folk; dropouts and the occasional doctor-of-something-or-other; professional and blue-collar, with vocations including (but not limited to): ministry, education, painting, nursing, sales, students, plumbing, banking, medicine, professional mothering, computer technology and retirees!
Among those dear to us are my friend since junior high school, whose passion for education and skills with technology might qualify him for much broader horizons than the small mountain college where he chooses to use them to benefit students so few he is able to know not only his own, but virtually every student in the school by name. Like the proverbial village needed to raise a child, he works in close rapport with a team of others who have brought their skills to bear in a limited focus, in order to better impact individual students' lives. We've traveled the world together for decades now, each of us seeing places we'd never have visited alone perhaps, and my wife, son and mother-in-law, as well as my parents and sisters, adore him. We've never had a seriously cross word between us in millions of miles of travel and untold hours of shared labor, and his family is equally like part of my own.
Another friend is my "prodigal son" of sorts. When he was young, I think more of his waking hours were spent at church or at my house or in my truck than at his parents' house some weeks. Like a majority of youth kids, there were times when college life led him to drift away, the sort of inevitable divide that's a consequence of spreading one's wings and sometimes, of a sense of disillusionment or awkwardness as the struggles of learning to live as an adult and deal with life's challenges and temptations make it tough to face those who have attempted to give form and substance to one's spiritual convictions. We never had a single argument that I can remember, but life made it too easy to drift out of touch for long periods. If anything, I may have failed him by not being more insistent about maintaining contact, or by not being quick enough to speak up when it seemed trouble might be brewing. At any rate, by God's abundant grace our paths crossed again, and each of us experienced deep and lasting growth as God moved in our lives individually about that same time. It doesn't seem like a coincidence to me that when God moves in my life, he often does it through the influence of someone near to me. I appreciate the depth of caring and the abiding sense of love that is shared between us, just hanging out, working together or cooking dinner. Again, travel has been a bond, taking us to several countries together, and through a variety of life's changes and stages of growth. In recent months, I had the privilege of forging the legal and spiritual bond that God's love had already made between my beloved friend and a woman so sweet and gentle that she has brought an even deeper level of closeness to our lives together.
One of my closest friends now lives far away, but somehow our relationship feels as close as it ever did in all the years we've shared. I remember the day when I made an announcement at church about an upcoming event for teens. When the service was over, a boy who looked to be about 11 asked, "Can I come?" I gave him a ride home after church that day, and it was just a matter of a few days until he first told me, "I love you." To be honest, given my experience with teenagers, I was a bit startled. When I seemed surprised, he cheerfully explained, "My dad says you should always tell people you care about, because you never know when you'll get to see them again!" Let me tell you, I say "I love you" to my friends a lot more than I ever used to. I feel the urgency of that mandate, to share love while we can, and I am constantly aware of the blessing of being part of a generation of men who are at peace with expressing their care for each other as friends. Again, travels have bonded us, as have untold hours of shared work and ministry, of prayer on the giant stuffed bass that used to grace my office sofa, of meals taken around his family's table, of movie nights and graduations and another blessed wedding that brought yet another beloved and gracious member into our extended family.
Another dear friend is the son of folks I've counted as dear friends since long before he was ever considered. Over time, God has brought our paths to cross in deeper and deeper ways. Now we share the same church home, lots of laughs and shared meals and of course, the infamous cookouts under our carport. My friend's shear goodness is just overwhelming--he has a way of finding the silver lining in everything; of always showing up or texting or calling at the moment most needed; of never failing to smile in a way that is entirely too infectious to avoid catching, and of a quiet faithfulness that gives me security, knowing there will always be someone who cares and listens and encourages.
...and the list goes on and on. I could talk for days about the fantastic, joyful, honest, real people God has brought into my life and my home. For the sake of this brief essay, I can't take space to relate all of the wonderful experiences I've had, but suffice it to say, I have been blessed very deeply by the breadth and depth and diversity of the friendships God has brought into my life.
Our friends encompass believers and seekers; the conservative and the freewheeling, the tatooed and the pierced and the traditional; couples and singles, young and...."less-young". But it's more than just a conglomeration of souls: this crazy, motley, extended family of ours is the work of God in our lives. I can't believe that such an assortment could have come together by random chance, any more than my scientific training and observation could allow me to believe that life itself is the product of random chance. In fact, the more years that pass, the better I can see God's hand at work, drawing my path to cross that of friends I've yet to meet. Those who once professed to hate me have come to be dear friends. Those who once thought what I preached was law and tradition have come to see God's grace at work in my life and have often opened the door for Him to work in their own.
I don't share any DNA or even particularly look like most of those dearest to me in life. But there is a bond thicker than mere blood that brings not only an assurance of love and mutual caring, but of the very purpose for which we were all made.
In short, these friendships--no, this family--is my vision of what heaven will be like. Maybe yours is different, but allow me to suggest that many will be surprised to find a heaven populated with people of every race, stature, personality, political persuasion and musical preference imaginable. Too often, our temptation is to envision an afterlife populated with those who look like ourselves, but given that much of the joy in my life comes through those who are most different from myself, and given that God made and dearly loves them all, I suspect that the crowd huddled under our carport on any given Saturday in September probably looks a good bit more like heaven than do the paintings of old. What would happen if everyone who claims the name of Christ would catch that vision? If we began to see the people we so easily categorize: "stoner"..."freak"..."geek"..."loner"..."loser"--what if we began to see those folks as our housemates in mansions where we will dwell in the eternal, uninterrupted presence of God? What if, when faced with someone's music that grates on my last nerve, I remembered: "God created that sound for His praise!" What then? What if the very differences that naturally make us shy away from others here on earth became the evidence of God's plan to fill heaven with voices of every timbre, with faces of every color and with the laughter of all those whom the Creator knew before they were ever born and destined to bring Him praise?
I pray God would grant you the kind of love and joy we find in our beloved friends; that you would catch a glimpse of heaven's glory in the faces of those you pass on the street each day; and that you would say "I love you" as often and as passionately and as freely as God Himself loves you!
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